Thursday, 5 May 2011

Erm... Uhm.. Err!! Yeah! thats what it is!!

 Havent you seen many self help books that have man on the cover with greased up hairstyle and a grin that shows 40 of his 32 teeth (yes! 40) all you want to do his sock that mother-lover in his face.  
I came across this book that apparently “helps you get women” What a load of nonsense.. You have seen Cosmo do it, Youtube explain it, Google it. I am sure none of these authors ever got laid, by a human atleast.
I hate it when I come across Home shopping channels with ridiculous products.

           1.   “Chun Funk” Height increaser – it’s a shoe insole and all it does is poke ur feet. You are to walk in this for 1hour daily and you can increase your height by 4inches. Bull crap all you get is Sore Feet.
This has a Chinese name something like “Chun Funk” which probably means “Your money is mine suckaa!!”. To make you think “Yea, its from the exotic far east, it must be true.” If it was all Asians would be Yeo Ming!

           2.    Edward Cullen presents “Freaky, Crazy ass White” fairness cream – (There are actual fairness creams here in India who claim to make you fair. Racist Idiots!) the sales pitch goes like this “Are you Dark skinned?” “Got dark circles under your eyes!?” basically it’s a load of nonsense ,  and then some other Fair girl walks in who talks bout her misery when she was not that fair.. And the whole scene goes black and white, this fair girl walks in with a ton of tar on her face, looking ridiculous and then her friend offers her FREAKY WHITE and tells her “You’d shine like Edward now!” and presto! shes fair! Where did the tar go?
instead if that was the truth – We would all be of one color and Benetton would shut down leaving russel jobless.
          3.    Snow white Teeth – Whiten your teeth in 10mins. Before using this product if no one spoke to you after using this no one ever will hang 10 feet around you. Because even if this works you will look like Ross Gellar in that FRIENDS episode where his teeth are freakishly white.
The truth - They’d probably re start the Guillotine system and scream WITCH WITCH and throw eggs while you get your head chopped off.

         4.     Justin Beiber HairStyling Cream – Justin does have great hair, I admit. But you wouldn’t wanna roam around the street looking like that chasing women screaming “Baby, baby!!”
No amount of hair gel or hair Re-growth can give you that hair.
                                              TO BE CONTINUED......

1 comment:

  1. This is a hilarious post.

    How these products made it to market just baffles me. Even if I can wrap my head around the Justin Beiber HairStyling cream (Hey, if Katy Perry can have special nail polish that makes nails have a cracked design, then Justin Beiber can have his own styling cream, lol....btw....isn't the main goal to make sure that nails don't crack! I know it's polish, but I'm just sayin'), that Height Increaser is such a joke. The name doesn't even fit. It sounds like a weight loss, food or foot care product.

    The Madlab Post