Saturday, 12 May 2012

How to be an award winning copywriter

Copywriters - defn. (cant be a verb coz they dont DO anything) - a spoilt brat, devil child who messes up everything in an agency and blames it on the servicing guy.

How to be an award winning writer in 10 steps

1. Do extensive 'research' on adsoftheworld. com - that will help you get "inspired" from what others are doing all over the world.

2. Use dictionary. com or microsoft word to correct your spellings.

3. Twitter. com to practice writing in 140 characters or less.

4. Tubmlr. com or any blogging site to post your views (all copywriters feel they are far better at life and philosophy than Aristotle, Socrates and somewhere Einstein knew less than them)

5. Post 9gag pictures onto facebook (coz nothing says i am cool as much as posting troll updates on fb)

6. Punch a servicing guy when your copies suck and you cant take the blame so blame it on the servicing guy for not being able to sell it. (this will help in de-stressing)

7. Correct your art guy's creative - coz Michelangelo and Da Vinci were your students at one point.. you obviously know more than them..

8. Come drunk to office or go out for regular smokes - coz thats what  all copywriters do and frankly you cant think without a smoke..

9. Talk about instagram and pinterst - they are the in things, talk about it even if you care a squat about it...

10. Watch Madmen and say you start hitting on every moving thing in your vicinity - if Don can do it.. so can I!!

Follow these steps and you shall one day be the whats what in the ad world!

PS. I am not a copywriter.. coz I still have a soul.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

The Creation

What if somewhere up there in the heavens there are a bunch of human. No Gender, No Money, No nothing.
So these bunch of Neutral Humans are called for a convention by God.

God - You are the next bunch of humans to be born on Earth. But before you are dispatched down to Earth we must decide your gender. Now I'll ask you'll certain questions based on which you will be divided into Men and Women.

* Which of you want to be pretty, delicate, ever forgiving and always be the center of attention? Step aside

A group of humans came forward. Sounds like a lucrative offer.

The rest that stayed back wanted to hear for the next option.

But there is one catch for those who stepped up, said the Almighty, you will have to cook, clean and bleed occasionally.

Not that bad a deal they said.

* Now for those brave few who stayed back, bordering idiots, here's your offer. You will be physically strong and have logical reasoning you will be condemned to take care of everyone around you, forget your life and your peace and serve the moral duty serving the first kind. You will be running behind them, working for them keeping them happy. You will be given a special organ which will do the duty of draining the logic when you see them and all common sense will break loose. You will apologize for everything and be subjected to judgement based on your physical looks.

The first kind were women.. the second were the real losers - Men.

For those who have seen the Matrix - the star cast were called onto the matrix world by a phone call by which they would transfer themselves to and fro to the real world.

What if that were the truth? And we are transferred to Earth by something similar what we call Sex. and there is a Giant Tube like in Water Kingdom which we slide down and enjoy a 9month ride and come out of the uterus. Mind = blown!