Thursday, 12 January 2017

Social Media - No longer a Boon.

Facebook, as we all know, is the leader of social media platforms. The platforms are filled with sites that engage you in the fields you can most identify with. For example, A photo blogger/photographer would most identify with Instagram, a person who wants to segregate their life into parts would go to let us say Pinterest and people looking to connect with other professionals, of course, LinkedIn. In a plethora of social media sites, we also have Twitter, best to connect with your desired celebrities or raise complaints and grievances, maybe? Then there is Snapchat for photographs and Quora, in case you are looking for answers, previously Yahoo Answers was the go-to site. I could go on.
There are some which successfully made it, like the above mentioned few and then there are some that couldn't or died their natural death like the ex-kings of social media - MySpace and Orkut, recently we hear Vine is joining that list of dead social media sites. Meanwhile, there are some like Google + failed that failed to take off the way Google wanted to.
At first, these were part of our daily lives. Now, however, they have sadly become our lives. With all of the above-mentioned making their way into our phones via apps. Like I always say, "the smarter the smartphone, the dumber the person using it." But the smartphone bashing topic is a different subject for a different day. As I was saying, social media has become our life. And we have all gotten addicted to most of these sites. I myself am an addict, which is the point of this blog.

I saw this brilliant video which is the crux of this blog. 

Of all the social media sites, the most addictive and the one I was particularly addicted to is FaceBook. No this is not one of those posts telling you the evils of Social Media and pedophiles tracking your kids or murders and thieves tracking your check-ins on facebook to know where you are. No! Read on...
Started by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004 this site has constantly evolved itself every few years to keep the interest alive, unlike its predecessors Orkut and Myspace.
Now don't get me wrong this is not an FB bashing post. I love Facebook and have earned from it by being a Social Media Executive for a top agency for a top brand. So I try not to be preachy when I say this - Facebook can be detrimental to your self-confidence. I'll explain how.

There are many times you have logged into Facebook and seen your friends visiting places, getting married, having kids, attending concerts. In general having a ball. This makes you take your life into perspective and wonder where your life is headed, even tough you may be doing better than most of those friends partying every Saturday night. That is because people on Facebook show you only one side of their life - the fun side. Nobody, none of your partying friends will ever crib about an illness, a debt, shitty work life on Facebook that is because none want to lose Face in front of their friends and relatives. Which is fair knowing how distant cousins and relatives will judge your life through that small window that is Facebook. This, in turn, creates a pressure on us to keep up the charade of winning in life and judge ourselves when you see your friends doing better than you, which is never the case.

We live in a world that makes us believe on an individual level that we are all meant to succeed in life. That we are the Hero, this life is our movie and all around us are here to help us succeed. Then, reality strikes... After college, you begin to realize that you're a cog in the wheel of a much bigger picture and this is when we turn to Social Media to assert to us more than anyone else, that your life is happening.
While going to a movie or concert we are more interested in the check-in on Facebook rather than the event itself. During a show or a sports match we no longer want to enjoy the event but click a picture and post it for likes/retweets. As humans we have forgotten how to enjoy the moment, we are more interested in capturing it.
We forgot how to go out and enjoy and that is the biggest curse of this generation.

“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” 
― Confucius

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Deciphering Movies - Bruce Almighty

We all loved 'Bruce Almighty'. Who dint? I mean if i could be God for sometime I would right some wrongs.

But this movie can be real. No You wont be God for a day. Think about the movie in your head for a minute.

The premise was - A reporter, Bruce - keeps cursing God. Fails in his job, loses his girl and is a total loser.
Until he meets God who gives him all his powers, and he changes his life overnight and realizes the meaning of life. How can this happen to you?

Let's rewind a bit. Bruce has lost everything - Job, Girl, self respect and is depressed, He goes to a dark alley, where he meets a Black Man - his thug/street name was probably 'God' coz he gave everyone "power" (cocaine) So this black man from a shady alley hooks him up with some drugs (power) and bruce is happy (hallucinating) now. He is so high he thinks he has got his job back and is a God himself. (He is probably hooked to a needle somewhere, in reality) He cant get his girl back Coz he cant mess with "Free Will" (she probably has a restraining order against him or something)

Finally he is too high and walking towards "God" and a truck slams him and the next thing you see he in the hospital (Rehab getting cleaned) He is sober now (Powerless) and gets his job back, his girl forgives him etc. Still hallucinates he was God once.

Now you know. :)

Saturday, 12 May 2012

How to be an award winning copywriter

Copywriters - defn. (cant be a verb coz they dont DO anything) - a spoilt brat, devil child who messes up everything in an agency and blames it on the servicing guy.

How to be an award winning writer in 10 steps

1. Do extensive 'research' on adsoftheworld. com - that will help you get "inspired" from what others are doing all over the world.

2. Use dictionary. com or microsoft word to correct your spellings.

3. Twitter. com to practice writing in 140 characters or less.

4. Tubmlr. com or any blogging site to post your views (all copywriters feel they are far better at life and philosophy than Aristotle, Socrates and somewhere Einstein knew less than them)

5. Post 9gag pictures onto facebook (coz nothing says i am cool as much as posting troll updates on fb)

6. Punch a servicing guy when your copies suck and you cant take the blame so blame it on the servicing guy for not being able to sell it. (this will help in de-stressing)

7. Correct your art guy's creative - coz Michelangelo and Da Vinci were your students at one point.. you obviously know more than them..

8. Come drunk to office or go out for regular smokes - coz thats what  all copywriters do and frankly you cant think without a smoke..

9. Talk about instagram and pinterst - they are the in things, talk about it even if you care a squat about it...

10. Watch Madmen and say you start hitting on every moving thing in your vicinity - if Don can do it.. so can I!!

Follow these steps and you shall one day be the whats what in the ad world!

PS. I am not a copywriter.. coz I still have a soul.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

The Creation

What if somewhere up there in the heavens there are a bunch of human. No Gender, No Money, No nothing.
So these bunch of Neutral Humans are called for a convention by God.

God - You are the next bunch of humans to be born on Earth. But before you are dispatched down to Earth we must decide your gender. Now I'll ask you'll certain questions based on which you will be divided into Men and Women.

* Which of you want to be pretty, delicate, ever forgiving and always be the center of attention? Step aside

A group of humans came forward. Sounds like a lucrative offer.

The rest that stayed back wanted to hear for the next option.

But there is one catch for those who stepped up, said the Almighty, you will have to cook, clean and bleed occasionally.

Not that bad a deal they said.

* Now for those brave few who stayed back, bordering idiots, here's your offer. You will be physically strong and have logical reasoning you will be condemned to take care of everyone around you, forget your life and your peace and serve the moral duty serving the first kind. You will be running behind them, working for them keeping them happy. You will be given a special organ which will do the duty of draining the logic when you see them and all common sense will break loose. You will apologize for everything and be subjected to judgement based on your physical looks.

The first kind were women.. the second were the real losers - Men.

For those who have seen the Matrix - the star cast were called onto the matrix world by a phone call by which they would transfer themselves to and fro to the real world.

What if that were the truth? And we are transferred to Earth by something similar what we call Sex. and there is a Giant Tube like in Water Kingdom which we slide down and enjoy a 9month ride and come out of the uterus. Mind = blown!

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Blood and Sand.. Honor and Glory.. Fame and Riches...

An Iron is forged in fire, Heated to the temperature to make it stand the test of time, never give up and prove its mettle..
Gold is purified in fire. Heated so that it can come out Pure and hold a higher Value.
A Diamond is initially a Coal. After 1000years of pressure it comes out as a rough diamond. Even then it is cut, polished and then it holds value. It becomes what it is after 1000years patience. 
Even a simple thing as Water must be boiled over a 100degrees to be pure.

Everything has to go through the fire and heat, the pressure and patience to become the person who is strong like the iron, priceless like the diamond and pure like gold..

So now maybe a tough time, a pressure situation with fire and heat from all sides.
For now maybe dark, it maybe painful but it will pave way to a better, brighter tomorrow.
Rough it out. 
Stand up every time you fall.
Stabilize every time you slip.
Pick the pieces and dry the blood, drink the tears every time you break.
Try every time you fail.
That is the true test, the true mark of a Champion. 

Once these times pass and you survive the test with your head held high, broke but dint bow down. Failed but dint give up. When everyone said you couldnt do it, you did it. When everyone said quit, you stuck it out and pulled it through. You stood, with your head held high, bleeding, alone, hurt but Tall. 

For Blood and Sand. For Honor and Glory. For Fame and Riches.
I Stand, I fight, I win..
H.O.P.E.. F.A.I.T.H.. B.E.L.I.E.V.E.. 

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Facebook back then...

In 2001

 Status Update - US Government - Our two towers have been hit by planes!
Osama likes this. 
 Osama – Success!!
  Bush – who could be behind this?
Osama likes this.
 Bush – Why is Osama liking everything today!?
 Osama – Snickr! Snickr! Jackass!

Clinton – Lewinsky Scandal
Status Update - BillJust got A Brazilian wax 
Hillary and Monica Like this.

In 2007

Indian Tourism Page _ Atithi Devo Bhava (Guest is God Like)
Status Update - “Today our theme is Mumbai City. Please check out our album.”
100 pictures of Places to Visit while in Mumbai.
Kasab Likes This.
Indian Tourism – Thank you Kasab. Do Visit our country next time your get time. Get a camera to shoot breath taking landscapes.
Kasab – I sure will visit soon :p and get a “camera” to shoot “images”.
Indian Tourism – You can stay as long as you like at the TAJ and we will treat you like a King!
Kasab likes this

April 29th 2011
Osama just updated his country to Pakistan and home town to Islamabad
The CIA likes this
Osama – SonfoBiych!

Zakhir Ur Rehman has sent Osama an invite on Mafia Wars.

British Petroleum likes FISH TANKS

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Movies Then and Now.. Whats changed?!

Movies we loved. We grew up watching them.. Here is my Twist on the movies if they were made in 2011

Deewar - 
2 brothers. Same Mother. One righteous Cop other a Gangster. Cop does his duty kills the brother. Famous Dialogue - "Mere pass bangla hai.. blah blah blah.." "Mere pass Maa hai.. 

Now - Same deal. 
Gangster - "mere pass bangla hai, gaadi hai, blah blah blah hai.. tumhare pass kya hai!"
Cop - "Haha.. Loser! Mere pass woh sab hai.. plus Adarsh society main flat hai. Satyam main investment hai. Swiss account hai! F.O!"
Gangster - "toh maa kahan hai!?" 
Cop - "She is gone on a Euro Trip bro.. 3G scam main bahut kamaya"

Amar Akbar Anthony..

Then - 3 brothers, twist of fate, separated at childhood. One is taken in by a Hindu - Amar. One us by a Muslim - Akbar and the third by a Christian - Anthony. Paths cross after 20 odd years and they are re-united.. They live happily ever After...

Now - 3 brothers, Twist of fate they are separated during IPL. Amar supports Mumbai Indians.. Akbar - Bangalore RC and Anthony - Kolkata Knight riders.. They fight for 40 days..  
They are re-united during WC 2011 when they support India.. They all worship the same God - Sachin Tendulkar.
They live happily ever after - until IPL 2012 atleast..

Then - Gabbar cuts off Thakurs hands.. Ties Viru, Makes basanti dance for him..

Gabbar catches Thakur and cuts his Thumbs so that thakur cant use his BlackBerry messenger..
Then he ties Basanti and askes Viru to dance for him.. and uploads the pics on FB - Gabbar and Viru are now in a realtionship. its complicated - basanti and samba dislike this

Mr. India 
Nice Guy Finds Bracelet that makes him invisible. Kicks Blondie's ass!

Mr. India - Guy finds bracelet that makes him invisible. Makes MMS clips.. Rich Perve!

Actually it should be
Ms. India - Poonam Pandey. She's not seen in red, rather she's not been seen at all!

You know the plot..

Now - Raj meets Simran on the train. They fall in Lust. Simran is gonna get married to this Punjabi guy in India. Raj follows. Falls in Love with the Punjabi guy. Elopes and Gets married to him in Vegas.