Social Media - No longer a Boon.

Facebook, as we all know, is the leader of social media platforms. The platforms are filled with sites that engage you in the fields you can most identify with. For example, A photo blogger/photographer would most identify with Instagram, a person who wants to segregate their life into parts would go to let us say Pinterest and people looking to connect with other professionals, of course, LinkedIn. In a plethora of social media sites, we also have Twitter, best to connect with your desired celebrities or raise complaints and grievances, maybe? Then there is Snapchat for photographs and Quora, in case you are looking for answers, previously Yahoo Answers was the go-to site. I could go on.
There are some which successfully made it, like the above mentioned few and then there are some that couldn't or died their natural death like the ex-kings of social media - MySpace and Orkut, recently we hear Vine is joining that list of dead social media sites. Meanwhile, there are some like Google + failed that failed to take off the way Google wanted to.

At first, these were part of our daily lives. Now, however, they have sadly become our lives. With all of the above-mentioned making their way into our phones via apps. Like I always say, "the smarter the smartphone, the dumber the person using it." But the smartphone bashing topic is a different subject for a different day. As I was saying, social media has become our life. And we have all gotten addicted to most of these sites. I myself am an addict, which is the point of this blog.

I saw this brilliant video which is the crux of this blog. 

Of all the social media sites, the most addictive and the one I was particularly addicted to is FaceBook. No this is not one of those posts telling you the evils of Social Media and pedophiles tracking your kids or murders and thieves tracking your check-ins on facebook to know where you are. No! Read on...
Started by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004 this site has constantly evolved itself every few years to keep the interest alive, unlike its predecessors Orkut and Myspace.

Now don't get me wrong this is not an FB bashing post. I love Facebook and have earned from it by being a Social Media Executive for a top agency for a top brand. So I try not to be preachy when I say this - Facebook can be detrimental to your self-confidence. I'll explain how.

There are many times you have logged into Facebook and seen your friends visiting places, getting married, having kids, attending concerts. In general having a ball. This makes you take your life into perspective and wonder where your life is headed, even tough you may be doing better than most of those friends partying every Saturday night. That is because people on Facebook show you only one side of their life - the fun side. Nobody, none of your partying friends will ever crib about an illness, a debt, shitty work life on Facebook that is because none want to lose Face in front of their friends and relatives. Which is fair knowing how distant cousins and relatives will judge your life through that small window that is Facebook. This, in turn, creates a pressure on us to keep up the charade of winning in life and judge ourselves when you see your friends doing better than you, which is never the case.

We live in a world that makes us believe on an individual level that we are all meant to succeed in life. That we are the Hero, this life is our movie and all around us are here to help us succeed. Then, reality strikes... After college, you begin to realize that you're a cog in the wheel of a much bigger picture and this is when we turn to Social Media to assert to us more than anyone else, that your life is happening.

While going to a movie or concert we are more interested in the check-in on Facebook rather than the event itself. During a show or a sports match we no longer want to enjoy the event but click a picture and post it for likes/retweets. As humans we have forgotten how to enjoy the moment, we are more interested in capturing it.

We forgot how to go out and enjoy and that is the biggest curse of this generation.

AA
“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.” 
― Confucius

Deciphering Movies - Bruce Almighty

We all loved 'Bruce Almighty'. Who dint? I mean if i could be God for sometime I would right some wrongs.

But this movie can be real. No You wont be God for a day. Think about the movie in your head for a minute.

The premise was - A reporter, Bruce - keeps cursing God. Fails in his job, loses his girl and is a total loser.
Until he meets God who gives him all his powers, and he changes his life overnight and realizes the meaning of life. How can this happen to you?

Let's rewind a bit. Bruce has lost everything - Job, Girl, self respect and is depressed, He goes to a dark alley, where he meets a Black Man - his thug/street name was probably 'God' coz he gave everyone "power" (cocaine) So this black man from a shady alley hooks him up with some drugs (power) and bruce is happy (hallucinating) now. He is so high he thinks he has got his job back and is a God himself. (He is probably hooked to a needle somewhere, in reality) He cant get his girl back Coz he cant mess with "Free Will" (she probably has a restraining order against him or something)

Finally he is too high and walking towards "God" and a truck slams him and the next thing you see he in the hospital (Rehab getting cleaned) He is sober now (Powerless) and gets his job back, his girl forgives him etc. Still hallucinates he was God once.

Now you know. :)

How to be an award winning copywriter

Copywriters - defn. (cant be a verb coz they dont DO anything) - a spoilt brat, devil child who messes up everything in an agency and blames it on the servicing guy.

How to be an award winning writer in 10 steps

1. Do extensive 'research' on adsoftheworld. com - that will help you get "inspired" from what others are doing all over the world.

2. Use dictionary. com or microsoft word to correct your spellings.

3. Twitter. com to practice writing in 140 characters or less.

4. Tubmlr. com or any blogging site to post your views (all copywriters feel they are far better at life and philosophy than Aristotle, Socrates and somewhere Einstein knew less than them)

5. Post 9gag pictures onto facebook (coz nothing says i am cool as much as posting troll updates on fb)

6. Punch a servicing guy when your copies suck and you cant take the blame so blame it on the servicing guy for not being able to sell it. (this will help in de-stressing)

7. Correct your art guy's creative - coz Michelangelo and Da Vinci were your students at one point.. you obviously know more than them..

8. Come drunk to office or go out for regular smokes - coz thats what  all copywriters do and frankly you cant think without a smoke..

9. Talk about instagram and pinterst - they are the in things, talk about it even if you care a squat about it...

10. Watch Madmen and say you start hitting on every moving thing in your vicinity - if Don can do it.. so can I!!


Follow these steps and you shall one day be the whats what in the ad world!


PS. I am not a copywriter.. coz I still have a soul.

The Creation

What if somewhere up there in the heavens there are a bunch of human. No Gender, No Money, No nothing.
So these bunch of Neutral Humans are called for a convention by God.

God - You are the next bunch of humans to be born on Earth. But before you are dispatched down to Earth we must decide your gender. Now I'll ask you'll certain questions based on which you will be divided into Men and Women.

* Which of you want to be pretty, delicate, ever forgiving and always be the center of attention? Step aside

A group of humans came forward. Sounds like a lucrative offer.

The rest that stayed back wanted to hear for the next option.

But there is one catch for those who stepped up, said the Almighty, you will have to cook, clean and bleed occasionally.

Not that bad a deal they said.

* Now for those brave few who stayed back, bordering idiots, here's your offer. You will be physically strong and have logical reasoning you will be condemned to take care of everyone around you, forget your life and your peace and serve the moral duty serving the first kind. You will be running behind them, working for them keeping them happy. You will be given a special organ which will do the duty of draining the logic when you see them and all common sense will break loose. You will apologize for everything and be subjected to judgement based on your physical looks.

The first kind were women.. the second were the real losers - Men.

For those who have seen the Matrix - the star cast were called onto the matrix world by a phone call by which they would transfer themselves to and fro to the real world.

What if that were the truth? And we are transferred to Earth by something similar what we call Sex. and there is a Giant Tube like in Water Kingdom which we slide down and enjoy a 9month ride and come out of the uterus. Mind = blown!

Blood and Sand.. Honor and Glory.. Fame and Riches...

An Iron is forged in fire, Heated to the temperature to make it stand the test of time, never give up and prove its mettle..
Gold is purified in fire. Heated so that it can come out Pure and hold a higher Value.
A Diamond is initially a Coal. After 1000years of pressure it comes out as a rough diamond. Even then it is cut, polished and then it holds value. It becomes what it is after 1000years patience. 
Even a simple thing as Water must be boiled over a 100degrees to be pure.


Everything has to go through the fire and heat, the pressure and patience to become the person who is strong like the iron, priceless like the diamond and pure like gold..


So now maybe a tough time, a pressure situation with fire and heat from all sides.
For now maybe dark, it maybe painful but it will pave way to a better, brighter tomorrow.
Rough it out. 
Stand up every time you fall.
Stabilize every time you slip.
Pick the pieces and dry the blood, drink the tears every time you break.
Try every time you fail.
That is the true test, the true mark of a Champion. 


Once these times pass and you survive the test with your head held high, broke but dint bow down. Failed but dint give up. When everyone said you couldnt do it, you did it. When everyone said quit, you stuck it out and pulled it through. You stood, with your head held high, bleeding, alone, hurt but Tall. 


For Blood and Sand. For Honor and Glory. For Fame and Riches.
I Stand, I fight, I win..
H.O.P.E.. F.A.I.T.H.. B.E.L.I.E.V.E.. 

Facebook back then...

In 2001

 Status Update - US Government - Our two towers have been hit by planes!
Osama likes this. 
 Osama – Success!!
  Bush – who could be behind this?
Osama likes this.
 Bush – Why is Osama liking everything today!?
 Osama – Snickr! Snickr! Jackass!

Clinton – Lewinsky Scandal

Status Update - Bill – Just got A Brazilian wax 
Hillary and Monica Like this.

In 2007

Indian Tourism Page _ Atithi Devo Bhava (Guest is God Like)

Status Update - “Today our theme is Mumbai City. Please check out our album.”

100 pictures of Places to Visit while in Mumbai.

Kasab Likes This.

Indian Tourism – Thank you Kasab. Do Visit our country next time your get time. Get a camera to shoot breath taking landscapes.
Kasab – I sure will visit soon :p and get a “camera” to shoot “images”.
Indian Tourism – You can stay as long as you like at the TAJ and we will treat you like a King!
Kasab likes this








April 29th 2011
Osama just updated his country to Pakistan and home town to Islamabad

The CIA likes this
Osama – SonfoBiych!





Zakhir Ur Rehman has sent Osama an invite on Mafia Wars.










British Petroleum likes FISH TANKS

Movies Then and Now.. Whats changed?!

Movies we loved. We grew up watching them.. Here is my Twist on the movies if they were made in 2011

Deewar - 

Then

2 brothers. Same Mother. One righteous Cop other a Gangster. Cop does his duty kills the brother. Famous Dialogue - "Mere pass bangla hai.. blah blah blah.." "Mere pass Maa hai.. 

Now - Same deal. 

Gangster - "mere pass bangla hai, gaadi hai, blah blah blah hai.. tumhare pass kya hai!"

Cop - "Haha.. Loser! Mere pass woh sab hai.. plus Adarsh society main flat hai. Satyam main investment hai. Swiss account hai! F.O!"

Gangster - "toh maa kahan hai!?" 

Cop - "She is gone on a Euro Trip bro.. 3G scam main bahut kamaya"

Amar Akbar Anthony..

Then - 3 brothers, twist of fate, separated at childhood. One is taken in by a Hindu - Amar. One us by a Muslim - Akbar and the third by a Christian - Anthony. Paths cross after 20 odd years and they are re-united.. They live happily ever After...


Now - 3 brothers, Twist of fate they are separated during IPL. Amar supports Mumbai Indians.. Akbar - Bangalore RC and Anthony - Kolkata Knight riders.. They fight for 40 days..  
They are re-united during WC 2011 when they support India.. They all worship the same God - Sachin Tendulkar.
They live happily ever after - until IPL 2012 atleast..

Sholay
Then - Gabbar cuts off Thakurs hands.. Ties Viru, Makes basanti dance for him..

NOW -
Gabbar catches Thakur and cuts his Thumbs so that thakur cant use his BlackBerry messenger..
Then he ties Basanti and askes Viru to dance for him.. and uploads the pics on FB - Gabbar and Viru are now in a realtionship. its complicated - basanti and samba dislike this.


Mr. India 
Nice Guy Finds Bracelet that makes him invisible. Kicks Blondie's ass!


Now.
Mr. India - Guy finds bracelet that makes him invisible. Makes MMS clips.. Rich Perve!


Actually it should be
Ms. India - Poonam Pandey. She's not seen in red, rather she's not been seen at all!


DDLJ
You know the plot..


Now - Raj meets Simran on the train. They fall in Lust. Simran is gonna get married to this Punjabi guy in India. Raj follows. Falls in Love with the Punjabi guy. Elopes and Gets married to him in Vegas.

THE BEGINNING!

What Were They Thinking?

 I travel a lot on weekends. And I came across some places that made me wonder who named them! And most importantly what were they on?

      1.       Dadar – Daa-dar – It means stairs, but according to the Indonesian dictionary it means – Omlette   

      2.       Thane – Tha-neigh – It means Prison in Hindi. Why would they name it something like that? 

      3.     Ghatkopar – Ghat-copper – Break it up it means “ghat ke upar” Over the Ghat.

      4.       Andheri –  and-hairy -  Andhera means darkness. Andheri is female darkness?

      5.       Titwala – never mind u got the point ;)

      6.       Pimpri – Pimp-ree – This the ghetto town. Yeah the Detroit of Pune! (I don’t know what it means! But it has PIMP  in its name and that does it for me!)

       7.       Bhosari – I don’t think so I am allowed to explain this here. It’s a slang, lets leave it at that!

       8.       Khadki – Kirkee – just sounds hilarious!

And this is not restricted to India only!

1.       New Zealand/ New York – what was before it was new? Zealand and York? Or Old Zealand and Old York. What does Zealand mean anyway?

                 2.   Sudan – All of a sudan I realize I shouldn’t make fun of this country


thats how our ancestors rolled!! They had a whacky sense of humor.. :)


Ancestor 1 and Ancestor 2 are talking


A1 - Now that we have killed people and won our land. We need to give it a name!
A2 - What should we call this place?
A1 - The girls here look pretty well endowed.. lets call this place Titwala. 
A2 - I likey likey!
A1 - what about this place!?
A2 - hmmm.. lets see. its a little shady and they got gangsta's here. Lets call it Pimpri.


meanwhile in a country far far away...


A3 - What should we call our Country?
A4 - Lets give it such a badass name that people dont know how to pronounce it. and our future generation will laugh their gutts out when people will try to say the name of the country.
A3 - * Czechoslovakia* sorry!!!
A4 - Thats brilliant!! we'll call it whatever you just said!
A3 - What? I sneezed! 
A4 - Czechoslovakia it is!!






This was in good fun if any terrorist is looking for me.  Elvis has left the building. :D

Stalker Anthems

I bet you all enjoy sundays.. You can do what you like, when u like.. with whom u like...
whilst i enjoy the sunday that is my everyday life. And the uselessness is awesome..

What do i do? i love listening to music. and thats where the trouble starts.

You listen to awesome songs recommended by your friends and then fall in love with the lyrics..
All you want to do is sing a long.. Google the lyrics and the songs on your page..
now sing along... and then, "hey! hey! hey!! waitaminute! these lyrics are so creepy!"
Thats right.. Who the funk wrote them!? So here i am bringing to you awesome creepy songs that we all listened to, we sang along! but never realized the Stalker-ness in them! Heres my list of creepy songs!
so without further ado.. i bring to you.

STALKER ANTHEMS!!!

1. Escape - Enrique Iglesias.

Stalker Quotient - "You can run, You can hide, but u cant escape my love..."

Dude, if she is running let her go.

2. Tu Haan kar ya Na kar - Darr

Stalker Quotient - "Tu haan kar ya na kar tu hai meri Kiran"

have you notices ever since the release of this song parents have stopped naming their kids kiran!?

3. Santa Claus is coming to town - Christmas Carols! (yes! it is creepy!)

Stalker Quotient - "He sees when your sleeping.. He knows when your awake. He knows if you've been bad or good.. so be good for goodness sake.. santa claus is coming to town!"

Stalker Claus!! leave the kids alone!!!

4. Like a stone - AudioSlave

Stalker Quotient - "In your House, I long to be.. Room by room patiently, I'll wait for you there, like a stone. I'll wait for you there... Alone"

No! No! No! Dude seriously!! that is just wrong! Girls dont like that man!

Call her, be nice. if she like you she'll call you over.. and please use the stairs and ring the doorbell!!

5. Mary had a little Lamb - Nursery Rhyme (yes kids you've been trained to stalk from nursery!)

Stalker Quotient - "Mary had a little lamb, It followed her everywhere"

Minced meet?

6. Superman - Eminem ( i know, i know this one is meant to be that way, but it qualifies for my list!)

Stalker Quotient - "We'll be friends.. I'll call you again, I'll chase you around every bar you attend, Never know what type of car i'll be in.. see how much you'll be partying then!"

Its meant to be that way.

7. I wanna be your underwear - Bryan Adams (yes he did it too!!)

Stalker Quotient - "i wanna be your t-shirt whens it wet.. i wanna be the shower when you sweat"

Listen to the whole song.. its a complete stalker anthem!!

8. Lal Duppatte wali - Aanken (govinda, chunkey pandey)

Stalker Quotient - "o lal duppate wali tera naam toh bata.."

Eve teasing at its best!

Dont download.. Piracy is bad.. (lol!!)

Happy mothers day.

I wrote these following lines for my mother who has been My friend, My guide, My life. 

Happy Mothers day maa.. I hope you like this.

My Mothers hands

Mother, Mother, Mother

Your hands are like no other.

Always there on my head when I took a nap,

Even when I did wrong to discipline me with a slap.

And then she hold me close when I cried,

Wiped my tears while she herself broke from inside.

Her hands were always there when I bruised and bled

To make things better and to tuck me in the bed

She stayed hungry to make sure I was well fed

They taught me how to read and write

Even told me bed time stories 

and fought the monsters under the bed at night.

Kissed my forehead held my hands tight

And put me to bed telling me everythings gonna be alright

Now her weary hands show the hardships they went through to make sure my future is bright

Her eyes sparkle cause now I am no longer her little boy but her shining armored knight.

I love you Mother. Thanks for making me the Man I am today.

The meaning of India

I'm feeling a little more Patriotic than usual today.

Has anybody ever wondered how towns, cities, countries were named?

Some have a logical explanation -

 Iceland - Land of Ice.

Bangladesh - Country of Bengali speaking people

While some have Historical Explanation -

America - Named after Amerigo Vespucci

West Indies - Named after Columbus discovered a land thought to be India but to the west.

What does India mean?

Before that there are many other things this country is referred to as

"Bharat" - According to the Purans's Bharatvarsha is named after King Bharata.

Of the stories I have heard while growing up.

"King Bharat was a brave king as a kid he used to play with lions, he ushered a bright new era as a king."

Hindusthan - A land where Hindus stay. (This was much before India broke up in 1947)

Land of the Golden Sparrow -  (The Bhagvad Gita c4v7-8) this was before Vasco Da Gama came to India.

Hind/Sind - (944 AD) The land ruled by the Sind and Hind rulers.

India is a rich country, by culture and money, Honey! 

As history teaches us - India was a richer country. And the whole of west - Portuguese, Italy, French, British sent out ships and and captains with crew to look for This rich country.

Finally Vasco Da Gama, from Portugal successfully reached India in 1498.

followed by French and British colonies and 400years of plundering and darkness, more on that later.

So what does India mean?

India - India, The name is derived from Sindhu, River Indus as we better know now. So in short it means The land where the river Indus flows. Indus became India.

More on my Country later.

A Royal Wedding and a Funeral.

Last weekend was EPIC. We had A Royal wedding and a funeral. And now that its over don’t you think something is amiss? 

        1.       The Brits have nothing to bet on now. Apparently they even measured the first kiss, it was 0.7 seconds long. They bet on everything from kate’s designer gown to the number of hair strands left on William’s head.  

        2.        The Americans have achieved their 10year dream. So until the point Osama was alive we all had something to look forward to, i.e Nailing that S.O.B. and Now that he’s gone, dead, ka-putt (or so he wants us to believe, while he chills with his best friends Mush and Bush) *Oh no! he dint just say that!* Americans took 10years to capture him but minutes to kill him.

       3.       We Indians on the other hand. Caught our terrorist within 2 days of the incident (Mumbai -26/11/2008) and have kept him alive for almost 3years. I pay 10% of my salary as taxes to keep him alive! We take our Indian tourism motto very seriously “Atithi Devo Bhava” which means “The Guest is to be treated like God!”
Our terrorist is given a trial to defend himself. Note – he was caught on camera killing people. He denies that was him and the case carries on. He has hired OJ Simpson’s lawyers.


So what do we do now? No more wedding until Harry decides to marry, which by the Grin on his face and the look in his eyes on the day seemed like the day would be NEVER. He doesn’t want to suffer from the condition - ONE-GINA.
No more terrorists to be caught. Unless India is proactive and traces down 2,359* (and counting) terrorists and executes them.

Erm... Uhm.. Err!! Yeah! thats what it is!!

 Havent you seen many self help books that have man on the cover with greased up hairstyle and a grin that shows 40 of his 32 teeth (yes! 40) all you want to do his sock that mother-lover in his face.  

I came across this book that apparently “helps you get women” What a load of nonsense.. You have seen Cosmo do it, Youtube explain it, Google it. I am sure none of these authors ever got laid, by a human atleast.

I hate it when I come across Home shopping channels with ridiculous products.

           1.   “Chun Funk” Height increaser – it’s a shoe insole and all it does is poke ur feet. You are to walk in this for 1hour daily and you can increase your height by 4inches. Bull crap all you get is Sore Feet.
This has a Chinese name something like “Chun Funk” which probably means “Your money is mine suckaa!!”. To make you think “Yea, its from the exotic far east, it must be true.” If it was all Asians would be Yeo Ming!

           2.    Edward Cullen presents “Freaky, Crazy ass White” fairness cream – (There are actual fairness creams here in India who claim to make you fair. Racist Idiots!) the sales pitch goes like this “Are you Dark skinned?” “Got dark circles under your eyes!?” basically it’s a load of nonsense ,  and then some other Fair girl walks in who talks bout her misery when she was not that fair.. And the whole scene goes black and white, this fair girl walks in with a ton of tar on her face, looking ridiculous and then her friend offers her FREAKY WHITE and tells her “You’d shine like Edward now!” and presto! shes fair! Where did the tar go?
instead if that was the truth – We would all be of one color and Benetton would shut down leaving russel jobless.

                                                                                                                                                                     

          3.    Snow white Teeth – Whiten your teeth in 10mins. Before using this product if no one spoke to you after using this no one ever will hang 10 feet around you. Because even if this works you will look like Ross Gellar in that FRIENDS episode where his teeth are freakishly white.
The truth - They’d probably re start the Guillotine system and scream WITCH WITCH and throw eggs while you get your head chopped off.

         4.     Justin Beiber HairStyling Cream – Justin does have great hair, I admit. But you wouldn’t wanna roam around the street looking like that chasing women screaming “Baby, baby!!”
No amount of hair gel or hair Re-growth can give you that hair.

                                                            

                                              TO BE CONTINUED......

The Mayans and MY theory of 2012

All this fuss about 2012 is getting way out of hand.
the mayans predicted “ The world as we know it will come to an end on 22^nd December 2012.” How did these guys predict something 5,125 years ago?
well I don’t know if its true or not but I am a non believer. 2012 may not happen at all, but the movie 2012 did bomb, maybe thats wat the mayans predicted "5125years in the future a movie called 2012 will bomb at the box office!!"

Anyway so here is how I picture the whole event that went down 5,125 years ago in a Mayan tribe.

My theory

The year is 4000 BC, Mayan tribe, it’s afternoon time. 2 mischievous kids, !Sksak and ?Musha bunked the jungle school.
!Sksak suffered from ADD (hence the ! before his name. Who has a ! before their name, u ask – Read – russell peters and !XOBILE)
And ?Musha was a Confused Kid hence the ? before his name (Who has a ? before their name. u ask? Its my story, and I feel like it, hence ?Musha!!)

So they just bunked Jungle school and decided to work on their tree house, erm.. well lets just say house, coz those days everybody lived on a tree or caves.
These kids found a coal and a round wheel and decided to play an elaborate prank on their friends but since these kids had nothing to do they decided to pwn people after 5125years..

The conversation went something like this.

!Sksak - ?Musha, come here man.. quick! I got it! I got it!! Yes!! 

?Musha – Calm the F down man! Why are you yelling!
!Sksak – Well we will make our own calendar and freak people out that the world is coming to an end!
?Musha – Uhm.. I’m not sure it’s a good idea. My parents would stone me to death if they found out!
(Those days stoning someone meant todays “go to your room!” and life had no value)
!Sksak – Lets do it to people way into the future.. Like how bout 5125years ahead!!
?Musha – Jesus Christ! Why would you do something like that!!
!Sksak – Jesus? Not for another 4000years man.. Dude chill. I’m telling you some idiots would freak out in that year! It’ll be EPIC!!!

*they go ahead designing the wheel, once its done*

?Musha – I’m still not sure! How would we know if it works!
!Sksak – Uh-oh.. Damn..
?Musha – I gotta run man. My mom is cooking T-Rex for dinner today.
!Sksak – What do we do of this junk now?
?Musha – lets bury it and hope people find it and decipher this  and freak out!

So they do and I am very sure those two kids must be rolling on the floor now somewhr!!

Got it off the Net. Cracked me up!

Life In Mumbai

For those who stay in India knows Mumbai is the place to be to make it big. For those who stay elsewhere this is the New York, Hollywood, Milan, Melbourne, Manchester, Bangkok of India.

Mumbai is the city to be if you want to be the next Amitabh Bachchan or Shah Rukh Khan because of the Indian Film Industry, which i hate it when people call it “Bollywood”.

You all must have heard a lot about Mumbai -

1. Slumdog Millionaire was shot here

2. Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts. (must read)

One of the places in Mumbai is called Dadar, (Daa-darr) which according to Google Translation, translates to Omlette in English from Indonesian. *confused look*

Dadar is the one of the most crowded places to catch a local train from. At any given moment of the day there is crowd big enough to make the biggest Thanksgiving day parade look small.

For eg.- You Come from Japan or America where you have escalators where you stand on it and it carries you to your platform, simple. Hah! We top that here in Dadar. All you have to do is stand at the entrance people will take you there comfortably.. into the wrong train.

Lets say you are in the train and you hear the announcement “Next station dadar” Gear up. Because if you cant get down in time the people getting in will enter and you reach the next station.

Let me illustrate the feeling with an example.

Eg.- When i look out of the local train and see dadar station approach I feel like a Rock star with the pool of people waiting at the station, wanting to just throw myself and be carried by my fans.. Until the train halts then I feel like King Leonidas against a million.. "No prisoners! No mercy!" its a battlefield!

This city grows on to you, you begin to love it. Marine Drive, Queens Necklace, Haji Ali etc.

A Mint leaf - Blind man's point of view

Blogathon Day 2


We see these things on a daily basis because we are blessed with Vision. Close your eyes and navigate across the room, its difficult. But to a blind man, this is routine. In this next post I attempt to describe a Mint leaf to a blind person using my FIVE senses.

A MINT LEAF

Light, small like a feather fits in your palm. Smooth like a baby’s cheek yet wrinkly as an old man’s skin.
Take a smell and it fills your lungs with freshness and in you want some more. Besides the lungs it gives a fresh-shot to your brains and it stays there lingering, opens up your mind with one whiff!
Chew it, it’s a mint blast, freshens your mouth and with a gulp you feel the freshness right to your stomach, highlighting every internal organ on it way…
It looks like the map of Mumbai pointing out the roads and the three railway life lines of Mumbai city stretching all the way through the ends of the leaf.
It is green in color, the color of prosperity, the color of money. The color of morning freshness, when you walk in the park and everything feels like and smells like the first rain!
The rustling of its leaves, when attached to the branches,  sounds like the waterfall fiercely hitting the rocks a hundred feet below except this is a thousand times softer.




Thank you Mrs. Patricia Chandrashekhar you have truly been an inspiration and a guiding light. I dedicate this Blogathon to you Ma'am. 
And also to my loving parents who celebrate their 25year wedding anniversary this month.

An Apple - A blind man's view.

Blogathon - Post 1


I look at this shiny dark red globe that is always depicted in pictures of the Garden of Eden. It reminds me of Adam and Eve when I touch it. It smells as beautiful as the smell in the park at 6am when the grass and the leaves have bathed in the morning dew. The bright red color mixed with a tinge of orange from Mother Nature’s palette gives it life. When you hold it you can’t help but reminisce about the history its been through from Eve to Newton.
 It gave us an insight into gravity and Steve his Job. It is our best friend, and a Doctor’s worst enemy. A bite into the apple and you hear a crunch like the ball off the middle of Sachin Tendulkar’s bat and then you hear it echo in your head every time you chew and the juices fill your mouth and take over your senses.  One gulp and it urges you for just one more leaving a lingering taste long after its done.
So slice it, dice it, cut it, crush it, peel it, eat it, savor it and put it on your diet list. It’s a faithful friend and a humble servant, a humble servant with its master throughout the year, unlike the king (the mango) who comes to visit his subjects for just three months of the year.
The seeds are like a gun pellet ready to fire up into an apple and destroy all diseases and help build a safer wall of immunity.

Movies Then and Now.. Whats changed?!

Movies we loved. We grew up watching them.. Here is my Twist on the movies if they were made in 2011

Deewar - 

Then

2 brothers. Same Mother. One righteous Cop other a Gangster. Cop does his duty kills the brother. Famous Dialogue - "Mere pass bangla hai.. blah blah blah.." "Mere pass Maa hai.. 

Now - Same deal. 

Gangster - "mere pass bangla hai, gaadi hai, blah blah blah hai.. tumhare pass kya hai!"

Cop - "Haha.. Loser! Mere pass woh sab hai.. plus Adarsh society main flat hai. Satyam main investment hai. Swiss account hai! F.O!"

Gangster - "toh maa kahan hai!?" 

Cop - "She is gone on a Euro Trip bro.. 3G scam main bahut kamaya"

Amar Akbar Anthony..

Then - 3 brothers, twist of fate, separated at childhood. One is taken in by a Hindu - Amar. One us by a Muslim - Akbar and the third by a Christian - Anthony. Paths cross after 20 odd years and they are re-united.. They live happily ever After...


Now - 3 brothers, Twist of fate they are separated during IPL. Amar supports Mumbai Indians.. Akbar - Bangalore RC and Anthony - Kolkata Knight riders.. They fight for 40 days..  
They are re-united during WC 2011 when they support India.. They all worship the same God - Sachin Tendulkar.
They live happily ever after - until IPL 2012 atleast..

Sholay
Then - Gabbar cuts off Thakurs hands.. Ties Viru, Makes basanti dance for him..

NOW -
Gabbar catches Thakur and cuts his Thumbs so that thakur cant use his BlackBerry messenger..
Then he ties Basanti and askes Viru to dance for him.. and uploads the pics on FB - Gabbar and Viru are now in a realtionship. its complicated - basanti and samba dislike this.


Mr. India 
Nice Guy Finds Bracelet that makes him invisible. Kicks Blondie's ass!


Now.
Mr. India - Guy finds bracelet that makes him invisible. Makes MMS clips.. Rich Perve!


Actually it should be
Ms. India - Poonam Pandey. She's not seen in red, rather she's not been seen at all!


DDLJ
You know the plot..


Now - Raj meets Simran on the train. They fall in Lust. Simran is gonna get married to this Punjabi guy in India. Raj follows. Falls in Love with the Punjabi guy. Elopes and Gets married to him in Vegas.

THE BEGINNING!